I just want things to go back to how they were a few short days ago. I want to take back what I did, what I thought. I now despise myself for what I did, I want to make it right but I just dont know how to. I broke both of our hearts. we’ve both lost part of ourselves and its all my fault. I know you know im sorry but sorrys cant fix it. But it will be fixed, this will all pass and we can both be happy again. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or next week. But eventually we will. I love you to death, Ill do anything to make it right. I will make it right. I love you buddy.

Im tired of feeling sick, im tired of feeling miserable, im tired of everything. I am depressed, sad, and scared. I wish I could easily fix it… but that is not possible. I wish I could go back in time and take back what  I said… but I cant do that  either. All I can do is try to make things right, and beat myself up for saying that. I wasnt thinking with my brain. I acted like the one man I despise personally. And I just so despertly want to make things right. Please let me make things right. I cant go on feeling this  way anymore. Ive cried all my tears, ive thrown up more times in the past 12 hours than anytime before hand. Im miserable. absolutely miserable. And I just want to make things good again. I love you. “I love you more than the sun the moon and the stars”. I just want to hug you. I want to hug you like never before and I never want to let go. I want to kiss you again. I want you to lay your head down on my chest. Nothing more. That is all I want from that weekend. I just hope and pray every single second that I can still have that.

“Together forever, never apart maybe in distance, but in heart”

I Love you.